Author: mjkisner

I’ve heard “necessity is the mother of invention” all my life and wondered where it came from. Turns out it can be traced back to the year 380 B.C. from the work Republic, written by the Greek philosopher, Plato. The idea behind it is that having a problem supplies additional creativity to come up with innovation solutions. There are several other explanations mentioned, but they all seem to refer to stories about folks that had a problem of some kind and found interesting and creative ways to solve it.

Solving a Problem: Giving Stories a Focus

In the early 1970’s my grandfather was living with my parents in State College. He was approaching 90 years of age and was still able to take care of himself. However, my parents needed to be out of town for several days and thought I could stop by to visit just to check on him and maybe entertain him for a few hours each day.

I was teaching elementary school and was happy to help. Grandpa always had entertaining stories ready to share. I got him talking about what it was like in 1913 when my dad was born. The more he shared, the more I realized I needed to give him a focus to tie his stories together.

I had seen an Advent Calendar project in a craft magazine and decided I’d try to create one with his help. The 25 days leading up to Christmas are celebrated in many ways, from parts of the Christmas story to tiny bits of chocolate. I wanted something that could be changed from year to year.

The next day, I came prepared with art supplies, starting with a piece of Masonite (24″ x 30″) covered with flannel, and a pile of extra felt, fabric and glue.

Then I had him tell me about his house in 1913 when my dad was born. As he talked, I laid out the rooms. Each room provided tidbits of information. For example, when I was asking about what I would find in the pantry, he mentioned vegetables like the pumpkin. Then I added bananas, mostly because they were an obvious shape I could cut out. He had to tell me about the first time he ever saw a banana…he was 8 years old! He was born in 1884 in Minnesota, and bananas came from far away so weather conditions had to be just right to make the trip on the train. In other words, in 1913 in Minnesota there were probably no bananas in his pantry! Oh well. I had already glued them down, so they stayed in the picture.

Over several days we managed to flesh out each room in the house. It was definitely fast free form cutting and gluing but the project served the purposes of keeping him entertained and giving me a project to do.

Solving a Problem: Giving the Right Kind of Attention to my Kids

For a few years, the calendar was just a decoration at Christmas time. During the late fall of 1977, when Kathy was just 2 months old and Ted was just 1 1/2, I had a problem. Kathy needed my attention and Ted wanted my attention!

The Advent Calendar became a teaching tool! Little slips of paper were put into each pocket showing a drawing of a present or a candy cane. He had to find the right number and “read” the drawing. Each year, the slips of paper had words for him to read. Ted became an enthusiastic learner so that made it fun for me too. As Kathy got older, Ted was teaching her too and so the tradition began.

Of course, over time, the items for each day added up to a pile that probably could have fit into their Christmas stocking…but it was worth it to me to have that distraction every day for a month!

They were a little surprised when they hit preschool during the month of December and asked their friends, “What did you get for the Advent Calendar?” and the other kids had no idea what they were talking about. Explanations were necessary, but I really couldn’t say…our Advent Calendar is just about helping me through a tough month! Oh well, it was worth it!

Now my grandkids are hunting every December morning for “The Elf on the Shelf” and opening little drawers in a wooden Calendar for prizes. I understand completely!

They will surely outgrow the need for these gimmicks, but look out…they may remember the tradition when they have children of their own! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

I noticed the other day as I walked through Cracker Barrel many reminders that Holiday Season is almost upon us! While the ornaments and decorations are always lovely, this year I noticed a large book being offered as a place to have our older relatives jot down memories and stories about their lives. The pages in the book offered writing prompts to help folks focus their stories like…What was it like for you as a child in such a big family? or What were your favorite school subjects?

Here are some sample books from Amazon:

Trying to capture the events of a long life are difficult, but with writing prompts like these, many stories can be captured for posterity. If relatives are nearby, younger relatives could offer to do the writing by listening or recording and transcribing the stories.

Books like these are a great idea for relatives who live farther away, but sometimes all we have are little snippets of memories that come up when we’re eating Thanksgiving dinner together.

These memories and stories can really enhance a simple Family Tree Diagram.

I described how to make a simple Family Tree for young children in a previous post last year (see https://marykisner.com/building-a-simple-family-tree/). I’m now suggesting that adding some of these stories will help younger family members understand interesting details of their lives.

I feel fortunate that both my father (Paul Bixby) and my grandfather (John Bixby) were prolific writers and left behind a pretty complete accounting of their growing up years. I’d like to share two stories that could certainly tell my grandchildren a lot about their great grandfathers that they will never meet or met when they were very young and don’t remember them.

Story of the Early Years from Grandpa John

“I was born on a farm in Aurora Township, Minnesota, December 26, 1882. Eventually I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters: Jacob, Lottie, Abraham, Isaac and Gertrude. The winter of 1882-1883 was a severe one with deep snow and blocked roads. That is the reason I arrived one day late for Christmas!

The first 6 years of my life are pretty much a blank as I remember them now, but I must have grown at a tremendous rate for before I was eight years old, I was raking hay with old Nellie (our work horse) and the new self-dump rake. That fall I was plowing with four big horses and the 2-wheel sulky plow.

The years from 1888 to 1893 were spent in school and helping where I could on my father’s 240-acre farm. The school year back then was a 5 or 6 month term mostly during the winter. My father taught two of those winter terms, the first when I was six. During that winter we learned how to read a bit, count, add and subtract and write our names. When father taught, he would rise at 4:30, do a lot of farm chores, eat a hurried breakfast, pile us kids into the wagon or sleigh, pick up several more kids on the way, put his team in a nearby farmer’s barn and be ready to ring the bell at nine.”

A Memory of Tough Love from Grandpa Paul

“When I was about eight years old I had a calf named Daisy. I had begged Dad to let the new-born Guernsey be mine, and promised to take care of it through the summer until a fall sale would bring dollars to buy my new shoes for school. She was too small to drink from the cattle tank so she was staked out in lush grass near the house. She depended on me for water. Mother had made it very clear that if I were to claim ownership, responsibility for chores also would be mine. Dad had agreed. All was good fun for a while but as the summer weeks passed, other interests lured me. More than once Mother had reminded me to carry water to Daisy.

One morning Mother, Dad and my baby sister Ruth were headed to town and I wanted to go too. It was always fun to go to town with its big grocery store and the Post Office. But going to town meant the chores had to be finished. Daisy couldn’t be left without fresh water.

That morning there had been a note of annoyance in Mom’s call about water. I dallied a bit with the new ‘invention’ I was working on in the shop and in what I thought was plenty of time I dropped my tools and started for the pump with my pail. However, that was when I realized I was too late to finish the chore and still go to town. They left without me!

I was crushed and cried like a baby. I filled the tub properly and sat under a tree to mope and slowly began wondering what Dad might say or do when he returned. When they finally returned, two-year-old Ruthie ran to meet me; Mom said Aunt Clara wondered where I was; Dad glanced at the water in Daisy’s tub and said nothing. Lesson learned…chores before fun!”

Capture Those Shared Stories and Memories

I think one of the most common things to happen when extended families gather over the holidays are the shared stories and memories. Take advantage by encouraging older folks to share these stories with the younger ones. They will never forget those special times. Please enjoy your loved ones throughout the holiday season!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.