Memories from Grandma Mary – Page 2

Christmas Traditions: Advent Calendars

I’ve heard “necessity is the mother of invention” all my life and wondered where it came from. Turns out it can be traced back to the year 380 B.C. from the work Republic, written by the Greek philosopher, Plato. The idea behind it is that having a problem supplies additional creativity to come up with innovation solutions. There are several other explanations mentioned, but they all seem to refer to stories about folks that had a problem of some kind and found interesting and creative ways to solve it.

Solving a Problem: Giving Stories a Focus

In the early 1970’s my grandfather was living with my parents in State College. He was approaching 90 years of age and was still able to take care of himself. However, my parents needed to be out of town for several days and thought I could stop by to visit just to check on him and maybe entertain him for a few hours each day.

I was teaching elementary school and was happy to help. Grandpa always had entertaining stories ready to share. I got him talking about what it was like in 1913 when my dad was born. The more he shared, the more I realized I needed to give him a focus to tie his stories together.

I had seen an Advent Calendar project in a craft magazine and decided I’d try to create one with his help. The 25 days leading up to Christmas are celebrated in many ways, from parts of the Christmas story to tiny bits of chocolate. I wanted something that could be changed from year to year.

The next day, I came prepared with art supplies, starting with a piece of Masonite (24″ x 30″) covered with flannel, and a pile of extra felt, fabric and glue.

Then I had him tell me about his house in 1913 when my dad was born. As he talked, I laid out the rooms. Each room provided tidbits of information. For example, when I was asking about what I would find in the pantry, he mentioned vegetables like the pumpkin. Then I added bananas, mostly because they were an obvious shape I could cut out. He had to tell me about the first time he ever saw a banana…he was 8 years old! He was born in 1884 in Minnesota, and bananas came from far away so weather conditions had to be just right to make the trip on the train. In other words, in 1913 in Minnesota there were probably no bananas in his pantry! Oh well. I had already glued them down, so they stayed in the picture.

Over several days we managed to flesh out each room in the house. It was definitely fast free form cutting and gluing but the project served the purposes of keeping him entertained and giving me a project to do.

Over the years, the decorations on the Christmas tree have rubbed off.

Solving a Problem: Giving the Right Kind of Attention to my Kids

For a few years, the calendar was just a decoration at Christmas time. During the late fall of 1977, when Kathy was just 2 months old and Ted was just 1 1/2, I had a problem. Kathy needed my attention and Ted wanted my attention!

The Advent Calendar became a teaching tool! Little slips of paper were put into each pocket showing a drawing of a present or a candy cane. He had to find the right number and “read” the drawing. Each year, the slips of paper had words for him to read. Ted became an enthusiastic learner so that made it fun for me too. As Kathy got older, Ted was teaching her too and so the tradition began.

Of course, over time, the items for each day added up to a pile that probably could have fit into their Christmas stocking…but it was worth it to me to have that distraction every day for a month!

They were a little surprised when they hit preschool during the month of December and asked their friends, “What did you get for the Advent Calendar?” and the other kids had no idea what they were talking about. Explanations were necessary, but I really couldn’t say…our Advent Calendar is just about helping me through a tough month! Oh well, it was worth it!

Now my grandkids are hunting every December morning for “The Elf on the Shelf” and opening little drawers in a wooden Calendar for prizes. I understand completely!

They will surely outgrow the need for these gimmicks, but look out…they may remember the tradition when they have children of their own! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Add Stories to Your Family Tree

I noticed the other day as I walked through Cracker Barrel many reminders that Holiday Season is almost upon us! While the ornaments and decorations are always lovely, this year I noticed a large book being offered as a place to have our older relatives jot down memories and stories about their lives. The pages in the book offered writing prompts to help folks focus their stories like…What was it like for you as a child in such a big family? or What were your favorite school subjects?

Here are some sample books from Amazon:

Trying to capture the events of a long life are difficult, but with writing prompts like these, many stories can be captured for posterity. If relatives are nearby, younger relatives could offer to do the writing by listening or recording and transcribing the stories.

Books like these are a great idea for relatives who live farther away, but sometimes all we have are little snippets of memories that come up when we’re eating Thanksgiving dinner together.

These memories and stories can really enhance a simple Family Tree Diagram.

I described how to make a simple Family Tree for young children in a previous post last year (see https://marykisner.com/building-a-simple-family-tree/). I’m now suggesting that adding some of these stories will help younger family members understand interesting details of their lives.

I feel fortunate that both my father (Paul Bixby) and my grandfather (John Bixby) were prolific writers and left behind a pretty complete accounting of their growing up years. I’d like to share two stories that could certainly tell my grandchildren a lot about their great grandfathers that they will never meet or met when they were very young and don’t remember them.

Story of the Early Years from Grandpa John

“I was born on a farm in Aurora Township, Minnesota, December 26, 1882. Eventually I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters: Jacob, Lottie, Abraham, Isaac and Gertrude. The winter of 1882-1883 was a severe one with deep snow and blocked roads. That is the reason I arrived one day late for Christmas!

The first 6 years of my life are pretty much a blank as I remember them now, but I must have grown at a tremendous rate for before I was eight years old, I was raking hay with old Nellie (our work horse) and the new self-dump rake. That fall I was plowing with four big horses and the 2-wheel sulky plow.

The years from 1888 to 1893 were spent in school and helping where I could on my father’s 240-acre farm. The school year back then was a 5 or 6 month term mostly during the winter. My father taught two of those winter terms, the first when I was six. During that winter we learned how to read a bit, count, add and subtract and write our names. When father taught, he would rise at 4:30, do a lot of farm chores, eat a hurried breakfast, pile us kids into the wagon or sleigh, pick up several more kids on the way, put his team in a nearby farmer’s barn and be ready to ring the bell at nine.”

A Memory of Tough Love from Grandpa Paul

“When I was about eight years old I had a calf named Daisy. I had begged Dad to let the new-born Guernsey be mine, and promised to take care of it through the summer until a fall sale would bring dollars to buy my new shoes for school. She was too small to drink from the cattle tank so she was staked out in lush grass near the house. She depended on me for water. Mother had made it very clear that if I were to claim ownership, responsibility for chores also would be mine. Dad had agreed. All was good fun for a while but as the summer weeks passed, other interests lured me. More than once Mother had reminded me to carry water to Daisy.

One morning Mother, Dad and my baby sister Ruth were headed to town and I wanted to go too. It was always fun to go to town with its big grocery store and the Post Office. But going to town meant the chores had to be finished. Daisy couldn’t be left without fresh water.

That morning there had been a note of annoyance in Mom’s call about water. I dallied a bit with the new ‘invention’ I was working on in the shop and in what I thought was plenty of time I dropped my tools and started for the pump with my pail. However, that was when I realized I was too late to finish the chore and still go to town. They left without me!

I was crushed and cried like a baby. I filled the tub properly and sat under a tree to mope and slowly began wondering what Dad might say or do when he returned. When they finally returned, two-year-old Ruthie ran to meet me; Mom said Aunt Clara wondered where I was; Dad glanced at the water in Daisy’s tub and said nothing. Lesson learned…chores before fun!”

Capture Those Shared Stories and Memories

I think one of the most common things to happen when extended families gather over the holidays are the shared stories and memories. Take advantage by encouraging older folks to share these stories with the younger ones. They will never forget those special times. Please enjoy your loved ones throughout the holiday season!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Trying to Sneak Into Air Conditioning

A memory from Grandma Mary: Imagine the hottest summer day you can imagine with 95% humidity. I could hardly imagine it, with all of my 9 years of life spent in central Pennsylvania! We’ve had hot summer days but by evening it would start to cool off and 95% humidity meant it must be raining out there! Quite the climate shock for all of us, meaning my family…my parents, my big sister and my brother.

We had recently arrived in the Philippines in 1955 to spend the year while my dad worked at the nearby University of the Philippines on the island of Luzon.

Our house was very open and raised up off the ground to help circulate the air, but it didn’t feel like helped. Basically, I remember being quite grouchy about being so hot…and I even had to go to school in a uniform!

I think the hat was just for fun…not part of the uniform!

My grouchy frustration included being unhappy that the only room in our house that was air conditioned was my parents’ bedroom.

My sister, brother and I had to sleep under mosquito netting, which was necessary, but made it feel even hotter at night.

Sort of like this, but picture a single bed. I have no idea at this time how the netting was held up, but I had trouble getting under it and then getting it tucked in without ending up all tangled.

One night early in our stay, when I felt like no one understood me (sort of like how all 9 year olds feel at some point), I decided to sneak into my parents’ bedroom and hide under the bed. They wouldn’t even know I was there and I could have one cool night (ha ha)!

Keep in mind, they had single beds too so I had to choose which one I could sneak under. I quickly decided the one where I could hide the best…happened to be my dad’s bed.

I’m sure the bed was not this close to the floor…but it was snug for me! Anyway, I settled in, feeling so smart! I would have a cool night!

I was sure I had fooled them, and they got ready for bed. They did not say anything about my presence. Of course, my dad is a big guy and he sort of flopped into bed, said goodnight and turned out the light. The whole bed sank down until I was left with little room to roll over. Oh my! Not sure this was a good idea. It was a very long night.

I will say, by morning I was convinced that the air conditioning wasn’t worth it. I tiptoed out of the room and got ready for school.

My parents never said a word about my sleep over (or under!), but I’m sure they realized I had learned a lesson. My frustrations seemed to dissipate as the year went on as I settled into the routine of a 9-year-old in 4th grade. That was enough of a challenge!

Can you pick me out of the class? With all of us sitting down, you can’t see how much taller I am than most of the girls!

The school year was a challenge for me. Instruction was in English but the students spoke to each in Tagalog so I was left out of their interactions most of the time. I was also painfully shy, so the first half of the year was tough. I will credit the teacher with helping me feel included in school activities. She ended up coming to Penn State in 1961 to get advanced degrees so I got to rekindle our friendship as I got older. She was a very dedicated teacher!

Anyway, nothing like trying to sneak into air conditioning to finally get acclimated to tropical weather. Quite a memory from the past! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Grandma Ruth’s Mementos of Valentine’s Day 1933

Growing up, I had heard my mother share stories about her experiences being assigned to a rural one-room school for the 1932-33 school year. She had graduated from high school in 1930 and went on to get a teaching certificate. It was definitely a culture shock for her. She grew up “in town” with many conveniences of the times…like indoor plumbing and central heating (probably coal).

Besides having to live with a nearby family, she had to walk a distance to the school, start a fire in the stove, do general maintenance for the school building and get the classroom ready for 23 students from grades 1-8. The living experience by itself was new; then she had the challenges of her first year of teaching! she was a small, shy woman…barely 5’4″ tall. The older students (boys especially) were tough farm kids who often did not want to be there. Learning to teach a class of mixed ages was a challenge in the first place. Over the years she would share little tidbits of experiences that wore her down by the end of the year. She taught only one year!

A sample classroom in a one-room school.

From my memory of her stories, the whole year was a traumatic experience for her. Recently, I was going through a small photo album of hers from that time and saw a photo of that class. Her note on the picture says it all!

I also came across a box of valentines she had saved from that year…very interesting collection! Most of the valentines were signed politely on the back with “To Miss Lowry” and signed with a full name, many in neat cursive writing! Maybe by February 1933 things had settled down in her classroom!

I thought you might like to see how clever some of the valentines were:

#3 This is signed by Gertrude Lee. She was Ruth’s best friend all through high school.

#4 Back. Maybe this one came from my dad who was teaching at a different one-room school in the area??

It’s been a long time since I bought a box of valentines for a whole class, but I suspect none of them have such poetic ways to say, “Be My Valentine!” I wonder if kids today could write poems like these? What a treasured memory of my mother! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

The Travels of the Lowry Baptism Dress

An heirloom baptism dress has been in our family for over 100 years. It was worn by my mother, who was born in 1912, and most recently by my niece’s daughter, born in 2016. It is made of very delicate fabric and has a matching slip.

I do not know where the dress was stored or who used it before 1977, when my mother offered it to my daughter to wear. After that, the dress stayed in my collection.

Before passing the dress on to others in the family, it needed to be cleaned. I did some research on washing vintage fabric and found this washing powder that said it would lift stains and not harm the fabric. It has been useful on all sorts of vintage fabric, from delicate handkerchiefs and linen table cloths. It worked fine for the baptism dress

Once the dress was cleaned up, I offered the dress to any of the girls being born in the family. I guess the boys could have worn it too, but no one showed an interest.

Here are the pictures of the babies born in our family over the years that wore the dress. (Family…if I have missed any, and you have photos to add to my documentation, please let me know.)

You can see the dress has been shipped back and forth across the country for over 30 years! One of the challenges has been to get it shipped in time to be worn when the child is about 3-6 months old. All I asked was for a photo to be taken. The dress did not need to be worn for an actual Baptism ceremony. I wasn’t sure the fabric could handle the motions of a small child.

Now the dress is wrapped in a pillow case and filed away until the next generation needs it. I’ll pass it on…probably to my daughter…to share with her cousins as their children reach the right age. For now, it is safe and documented so far. Like all heirlooms, who knows what adventures it will have!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Preserving Old Photos and Slides

I have been fortunate to have inherited my grandfather’s collection of photographs and various stories about the Bixby side of the family. He wrote many stories about his experiences growing up on a farm in Minnesota in the early 1900’s for the local historical society in his town. These stories have been edited and typed up by my cousin so they can be distributed around the family. Many of the old photographs, often glued or printed on heavy cardboard or card stock have been laid flat on a scanner to be preserved as a digital file. Yet, the old photographs continue to survive tucked into filing cabinets ready to be scanned again. There are not as many photos as today and most are formally posed instead of informal shots.

The Jacob Bixby family. My grandfather, John, is the tall boy in the back row.

Photos taken in the last 15 years or so have been taken with digital cameras and more recently iPhone cameras. They have been shared around the family, printed and framed and even printed on the side of mugs and coffee cups! They are less often formally posed to commemorate a wedding or a birthday. We have collected huge piles of photos and only a select few get preserved.

My daughter and family…Steve, Ben, Anna and Daisy

In between the photographs from my grandfather’s generation and my children’s the most common way to document with photographs was with slide film. We have thousands of slides from family vacations, our first apartment, our first dog, etc. My Dad used slide film to document our travels to the Philippines in 1955-56. I have boxes of his slides that I would love to view and share…if I could just get them digitized (we don’t even have a slide projector any more). Another issue, he used a mix of Ektachrome and Kodachrome film and the former did not hold true colors over time. Those slides are not worth trying to save.

To the rescue…an app for my iPhone! I found an ad for the SlideScan app ($29/year). If you look it up at the App Store there is a nice video about how it works. It looked pretty simple…hold a slide in front of a white screen and using the app, press a button on my phone and it will scan the slide and save it digitally.

I found a few challenges in using the app. One, I couldn’t figure out how to get a white screen on my computer; two, I couldn’t hold the slide still enough; three, I couldn’t hold my phone still enough while pressing and holding the button for three seconds with one hand!

With Bert’s help, we found a very affordable light board. It plugs right in with a USB to a regular plug or to the computer. Here’s the box it came in (from Amazon, of course!):

That took care of the light. Then, I needed a way to hold my camera steady while I held the button for three seconds. Bert found this CamStand that looked sturdy and adjustable:

Here’s the assembly sheet, because of course it came as a pile of screws and rods:

So, once everything arrived and was set up, I could put the light board on the stand, put my phone in the holder, put a slide on the light board and press the button for 3 seconds to scan a slide.

Now, I could work with the digital picture! I can hardly wait to capture more photos!

Here’s our family sitting on a rocky hill (called Mars Hill) at the base of the Acropolis in Athens (1956).

Mary by the columns of the Acropolis in Athens, Greece (1956).

The digital photos are stored in the app on my phone. I can email them to myself, name them and organize them. Yea!! A solution to a problem that’s been bothering me a long time. Stay tuned for more stories about our travels way back then! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Remembering My Dad, Paul Bixby

Today would have been my Dad’s 108th birthday. He passed away in 2012, just a week shy of his 99th birthday. He grew up on a farm in Minnesota, the oldest with 4 younger sisters. He always yearned to see the world. As a child, he thought being a “diplomat” would be the most exciting career. As a lifetime educator, his yearning led him to opportunities to explore the world. He married my Mother in 1935 and headed off to college in St. Cloud, Minnesota.

From there he continued his education in New York at Columbia University. By the time I was born (1946) he was ready to continue his career in Higher Education at Penn State University.

We spent 1955-56 in the Philippines, while Dad taught at the University of the Philippines. He was enjoying the challenges of international travel and education, while Jean, Mark and I experienced normal life appropriate to our age levels. Jean had just graduated from high school and was learning about native Philippine music and dance; Mark was a sophomore in high school and experiencing high school life in another culture; I was in 4th grade and trying to figure out how to fit in in elementary school. Mom was just trying to hold us all together! We each had our challenges!

Here is a picture of my Dad in 1968 when Bert and I got married (or should I say, celebrated our wedding…ha ha…that had happened in 1967, when we eloped but didn’t tell anyone!). That’s another story!

Here is Dad around 2000. He was definitely in “elder statesman” mode and enjoyed living in Foxdale after Mom died. He served on many committees and was acclaimed as a great listener. He stayed actively involved in the development of Foxdale as a mature, continuing care facility.

And finally, as a father of three, grandfather of nine, great grandfather of 17 and great-great grandfather of 4, everyone loved to come visit him, to pick his brain for great stories or share their own life adventures.

After he passed, I was reminded that he wasn’t just my Dad…many people saw him as a “father figure” or as a kindly, interested “grandfather figure.” Each year, this close to Christmas, he’s never far from my thoughts.

If you have a treasured memory you’d like to share, leave a comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net. Thanks.

Remembering My Big Sister – Jeansylvia

Today would have been my big sister’s birthday…84 years old. She passed away in 2017, but every December 1st since then I’ve made it a point to recall a few of my treasured memories of her. I’d like to share just a few with you. Some time in the last 20 years, she combined her first and middle name to make one…Jeansylvia. To me, however, she will always be Jean.

I have only a few pictures of my sister before I was born. Here is a picture of my family before I was born and they lived in New Jersey.

I was born in New Jersey, and 6 months later we moved to State College. Jean must have been 9 years old in the first picture. Mark would have been 6 years old. I’m sure I was a novelty at the beginning.

About 1957, when we returned from my Dad’s year-long sabbatical in the Philippines, Jean would have been about 20 years old and in college. For this picture we modeled our special outfits representing traditional clothes from the Philippines:

In 1959, Jean competed for the first step in the Miss Pennsylvania Pageant. She won Miss Centre County, but did not go further. This picture below was in the paper. A few years ago, Bert and I attended an 80th birthday celebration of the young man driving the car. (We had no idea who he was in 1959!) This picture was part of his memory board at the party. What a surprise to see my sister on his memory board! I hadn’t seen this picture for many years, so it was a real treat.

More recently we would drive up to Mansfield to have lunch with Jean, Mark and Lita. This is one of my favorite pictures of her:

When she passed away, I had to quickly come up with an obituary while I was in a hotel room. Luckily, her daughter was with me and could fill in all the details of next of kin, etc. However, I wanted to add a sentence or two about her personality. This is what I came up with:

“With a quick wit and engaging smile, she charmed all she met. She was an avid reader, prolific journal writer and nature lover. If you want to honor her memory, love a neighbor, help a friend and pass it on.”

So, CHEERS to you, my big sister! We all miss your smile and sense of humor!

I hope all of you take a minute on a loved one’s birthday to cherish a favorite memory too.

If you’d like to comment or share a memory of Jeansylvia, you can comment here or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.

Remembering Our First Date

It seems so long ago, 58 years, yet I’m reminded of our first date every year by the headlines back then…

(Original Caption) New York, New York: Headlines announcing Kennedy’s assassination from three New York newspapers, the Times, the Daily News, and the Herald Tribune. November 23, 1963.

I was eagerly anticipating our first date. We were supposed to go to a fall dance at the High School. We hardly knew each other…had just met in English class our Senior Year, even though we had been in the same schools since 7th grade. Our paths had not crossed in any class before.

We were in our afternoon classes when the PA announcements came on that President Kennedy had been shot. We all listened in stunned silence. Over the next few hours, we were bombarded with all the speculations from the news media, our teachers and our classmates. The details would unfold over the days and weeks to follow.

Many of the pictures in the news are still familiar to me today:

President John Kennedy rides in a motorcade from the Dallas airport into the city with his wife Jacqueline and Texas Governor John Connally.

Lyndon B. Johnson, during his inauguration immediately after John F. Kennedy’s assassination, with Jackie Kennedy by his side.

Members of the Kennedy family at the funeral of assassinated president John F. Kennedy at Washington DC. From left: Senator Edward Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy, (aged 6), Jackie Kennedy (1929 – 1994), Attorney General Robert Kennedy and John Kennedy (1960 – 1999) (aged 3). (Photo by Keystone/Getty Images)

By the time I got home from school, the world had changed. I think we were all in shock. All I could think about was what a relief it would be to go to a dance to feel somewhat normal again…if only for a few hours.

Of course, we had not gotten the memo that the dance was cancelled! So, I got dressed up, Bert came over to pick me up and we went to the school. Oh no! The sign on the door gave us a reality check! We headed back home to just go for a walk around my neighborhood and talk. We hardly knew each other so it was an awkward time.

It was also a memorable beginning to our relationship that I will be reminded of every year. I guess it stuck, because 58 years later we’re still hanging in there!

Do you have memories of that day back in 1963? I’d love to hear about them! My email address is marykisner@comcast.net.

Remembering Patty and her Italian Bread

I pulled out my recipes today to make some Italian bread. It’s been a while so when I found the recipe I was reminded of my sister-in-law, Patty…my big brother’s first wife. She was a real sweetheart and my mentor when I started my own family.

Here’s an early picture with two of their kids, Eric and Pam. Paul, Todd and Teresa rounded out their wonderful family by the early 1980’s. We were sorry to lose her in 1984, but my memories keep her in my heart to this day.

In 1980, Ted, Kathy and I spent a few days with my brother’s family on the farm in northern Pennsylvania. We borrowed my sister’s motor home while she was out of town and had an adventure going to Uncle Mark’s farm.

Ted was four and a half and Kathy was three. Such sincere smiles!

We parked the motor home in the backyard of the farm house and enjoyed visits with the barn cats and the cousins. Early on the first morning, we were awakened by sheep sounds. What a surprise to look out the window and see we had been surrounded by a whole flock of sheep! That was the beginning of our adventure!

Of course, this post is about making Italian bread so let me just say every time I make this recipe, I’m reminded of those days visiting the farm. Patty was always baking something and I was inspired by her ability to whip out this Italian bread or homemade pizza crust in a flash. We had many conversations about baking with whole wheat flour and making our own yogurt. Great memories!

So…here is the recipe for her Italian bread:

When I make bread, I often start with the liquid ingredients and then add flour. This recipe starts with all the flour in the bowl and then adds the liquid ingredients. I had forgotten this, but it worked out just fine.

At this point, I dumped the dough out onto the floured table, gave it a few “kneads” and put it an oiled bowl to rise.

An hour later, the dough had raised to the top of the bowl.

I shaped it into two long loaves and let it raise on the pan.

After 40 minutes the dough was almost over the side of the pan so it went into a hot oven (400 degrees). In 20 minutes the whole kitchen smelled great!

Of course, before I could get a picture of the loaves, SOMEONE had to have a chunk!

So that’s the story of Patty’s Italian bread recipe, memories and all! Enjoy!

Please comment or email me directly at marykisner@comcast.net.